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“You can all to go to hell; I will go to Texas.” – Davy Crockett

You can’t really explain Texas. Sure you’ve got your expectations. We’re all cowboys. We talk funny. We spend most of our time drilling oil and riding mechanical bulls. Some of that might be true (y’all are the ones that talk funny), but that ain’t the whole truth.

Texas is big and Texas is complicated and we’ve got more history and wisdom than most of the rest of the country combined (sorry Delaware, that’s just a fact).

Some years back a man compiled a list of sayings and stories and dubbed it the “Wit and Wisdom of Texas”. Never read the book, but I’ve read many like it. Books don’t have enough pages for all the wit and wisdom of the great state of Texas. But here’s a list for beginners, a small compilation of genuine homespun Texan wit and even some non-Texans perfectly describing the Texas “Spirit”, so without further ado:

  • It’s a common misconception that everything is twice as big in Texas, really, everything is 1.965 times bigger. We round up.
  • “Texas is neither southern nor western. Texas is Texas.” Senator William Blakley
  • You’ve got a ten-gallon mouth.
  • It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
  • Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
  • Always drink upstream from the heard.
  • A good horse is never a bad color.
  • Every fish ever caught had it’s mouth open.
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  • Nobody ever drowned in sweat.
  • He’s as yellow as mustard, but without the bite.
  • If you put his brains in a bumblebee he would fly backwards.
  • He has more guts than you can hang on a fence.
map of the U.S. state of Texas

You Know You’re in Texas When:

-You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.

-You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than your fist.

-You know all four seasons: almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

“Any fellow who will cheat for you will cheat against you.” – Congressman Sam Rayburn

“I feel safer on a racetrack than I do on Houston freeways.” – A.J.Foyt, NASCAR driver

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23777 SH 249 • Tomball, TX 77375

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Tomball Dodge Chrysler Jeep Ram

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